Climbing the Mountain of the Self

For the love of the spiritual path

I'm pondering the similarities between high-altitude climbing and the spiritual path.

I've always been incredibly fascinated by the high mountains of the world and the people that climb them. I've watched many documentaries about them. I’ve never done high-altitude climbing, just sharing some observations as a sideline enthusiast.

Up and Down

When climbing in those high altitudes, there is a process of going up part way and coming back down to acclimatize before attempting the summit. There are also periods of time of needing to sit still to allow the body to adjust to the altitude.

I've noticed a common pattern in my spiritual path of having what feels like profound realizations and then feeling like I lose it and come back to a "lower" state of consciousness. For many years it felt like a problem, like something was going wrong, like I wasn't "doing it right." But slowly I'm learning to listen to my intuition and to trust this process, accepting that it takes time to acclimatize to certain spiritual realizations.

One Step at a Time

When climbers are at especially high altitudes, they take very slow steps and pause often to breathe because the oxygen levels are so low and the risk of falling is so high. One false step and it can be death. It requires great patience in order to survive in such harsh environments.

There are so many times I get overwhelmed by feelings and experiences in my process. It feels like the elements can be too much to handle. But I'm progressively seeing the wisdom of taking things very slow, being patient, resting often and remembering to just keep breathing. How beautiful to give one's full attention to each small step and breath, recognizing their importance in the present moment.

The Spiritual Mountain

I was always envious of mountain climbers, I wanted to experience the majesty of ascending those mighty peaks but was never really physically capable of that level of strenuous activity nor inspired enough to endure the hardships.

But I'm realizing that the ascent of the spiritual path has its own merits. I'm learning to value my path in this life and treat it with the same respect that I hold for those incredible mountaineers. To realize the Self, our true nature, has been something I've been dedicated to for years and it's felt like an immense journey towards a mountain peak that is still unfolding.

Respecting the Journey

Just as I've loved the mountains, I've felt an incredibly strong passion for spiritual awakening. I remember when I first discovered the topic of "enlightenment," I had this intuitive knowing that this is what I had been searching for for so many years. I finally had a sense of direction, even though I had no idea how to fully discover it for myself.

In order to climb those high-altitude peaks, it requires immense respect for the mountain and the elements. It takes preparation and years of training. I find that with the spiritual path, if I'm not respecting the process, it tends to create much more suffering. Often I can disregard how many years of study, practice and breakdown it's taken to lead me to where I am today on the path. I find it quite moving to take time to acknowledge and honor all the struggles that have been endured in order to get to this point.

Sensitivity

Climbers must be highly sensitive to their environments. They must constantly be surveying the conditions of the snow, ice and rock, watching the weather patterns, taking into account how much time they will need to reach the safety of a camp site.

The spiritual path for me feels like an extended process of opening up to my sensitivity. So many layers of feelings that have been repressed coming to the surface, so many habits of numbing myself being transformed, the body’s sensitivity finally being recognized as worthy of respect. Learning to navigate this desensitized society becomes so much more challenging as I become more sensitive. Yet there is something that also feels incredibly nurturing and holistic about finally respecting sensitivity. It feels worth the difficulties and an essential part of the path.

What Mountain?

I'm reminded of the line from the Donovan song There is a Mountain (inspired by Zen Buddhism), "First there is a mountain, then there is no mountain, then there is." I sense that this whole spiritual path will eventually be realized to be just another dream, a cosmic joke of seeing that there is no mountain, no enlightenment, no special summit to reach, no “me” that has been on a journey, that the Self is already here and always has been.

There are moments where I see this to be true and laugh at the ridiculousness of all these “spiritual” ideas. There is great peace in realizing the presence that remains unchanged throughout the apparent journey. But so often I get caught up in the search again, losing the joy of being by getting fixated on reaching a destination, becoming serious and stern, identified again with thoughts and feelings.

It’s a strange trip this spiritual path, just when I think I might be understanding it or making progress, the terrain changes and I feel lost again, having no idea where I’m going or what’s happening. Yet my heart’s passion for the truth remains strong and there seems no greater journey to embark on than that of Self-Realization.

I bow in honor of this mysterious path
That leads to nowhere and everywhere
One step at a time
One breath at a time
Humbly prostrating
Before this mountain of the Self
Seeking its wisdom
Surrendering to it’s majesty
Slowly discovering the oneness
Of mountain
And no-mountain
May all beings realize their True Self