Feeling without a Feeler
Perceiving without the story of a Separate-Self
Intensity
Panic grips at the muscles in the body. A mysterious force squeezing the shoulders and ribs. The neck rigid. A stabbing pain in the gut. Chest constricted as if tightly bound by rope, making it challenging to breathe.
“What do I do!? I feel terrified! I can’t breathe!” says the mind. “I have to make this fear go away!”
After spending some time sitting with this intensity, a question arises, “What I?”
“What ‘I’ is feeling this? What ‘I’ needs to fix this?”
The immense tension eases slightly. There is a witnessing of the sensations in the body as well as the story of the personal-identity, the imagined “doer” of the body.
The discomfort remains but feels more “manageable.” The urgency to change the sensations in the body progressively subsides.
The feelings that felt unbearable begin to feel a bit more spacious.
The breathing becomes more easeful.
Perceiving
There is an exploration of witnessing the body just as it is, without the belief that something needs to change.
This quality of perceiving seems to help the body relax.
Being identified with the separate-self, an imagined feeler that is thought to be separate from the feelings, is seen to be the source of so much of this intensity in the body.
What is it like to perceive the body and immediate environment, just for this moment, without a story? What is it like to breathe without there being a breather? What is it like to see without there being a seer? What is it like to feel without there being a feeler?
Peace
As the panic in the body continues to subside, a peacefulness slowly emerges.
Breathing continues with witnessing the present moment and the tension in the body.
“Who is this peace for? Who gets to have this peace?”
Sitting with the question, no one can be found. It is peace for no one.
Peace for peace’s sake, peace resting in its own effortless peacefulness.
Peace bows to itself in gratitude.
This exploration of intensity, panic, and peace is a beautiful reminder of the power of presence. It speaks to the core of our human experience. The deep tension we sometimes feel when we're caught in the grip of fear, and the liberation that comes from simply observing without identification. The question "What 'I' is feeling this?" is like a key that unlocks a shift in perception, gently dissolving the story of the separate self, revealing a spaciousness where peace can arise.
It feels almost like a bhakti practice. The simple act of surrendering to what is—without needing to fix, control, or become something different—brings a profound sense of release. And like a quiet prayer, peace emerges not as something we possess or hold on to, but as something that simply is, bowing to itself in effortless gratitude. This is the stillness we can find when we let go of the frantic mind and just allow everything to be as it is. Beautifully written, and deeply soothing.
This really resonated with me. I struggled with anxiety and panic attacks for many years, and meditation was the first doorway out. Following the breath helped me come back into my body, and over time I learned to gently step aside and just witness—exactly what you describe here. There’s such quiet freedom in realizing the feelings don’t need a “feeler.” Thank you for putting words to it so beautifully.