The Journey
Into the depths of my self-loathing
I journey with trepidation
How frightening this landscape
So often I avoid this territory
The thought-forms that lurk in this darkness
Are the demons that haunt me
“Worthless!” “Spoiled!” “Selfish!”
Leap forth from the shadows
Large, ferocious, terrifying
The breath is stolen from my chest
Muscles tied in knots
Eyes wide with fearful expectation
Petrified
Immobile
Constricted
Silently bound
To the unknown fate
Of this misadventure
Yet a faint wisp of light appears before me
Calming the nervous system just enough
For this leaden body to breathe
“Is it true?”
The light transmits
Into this dreadful predicament
The guiding light’s inquiry
Provides illumination to my surroundings
Loosening the noose of fear
The thoughts of hatred
Surrounding me on all sides
Appear less threatening
Instead of fleeing,
Like I normally do,
I question
“Is it true that I am worthless?”
Followed by a silent pause
Of sacred investigation
No answer arrives to save me from my foes
But miraculously
The breath continues returning to the body
A receptivity to my situation
Somehow unfolds
An openness to to these thought-forms emerges
What was frightening
And unable to be witnessed
Is now observed with curiosity
“What is it that I’m unconsciously believing?”
“What is this hatred really about?”
“What is it that is here, perceiving these thoughts?”
The longer I sit with the questions
The more the body relaxes
Continuing to breathe, I take a step forward
This may be a very long journey
One without a clear destination in sight
But my hearts knows the endeavor is worth it
The light of truth
And a fierce love for self-realization
Lead me onward